apparently the secret to your success is patron
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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