I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
