i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
