3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
