I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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