How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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