My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize