I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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