Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
