just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
