Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He shit in the fireplace
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize