My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
