idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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