adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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