my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize