What a fucking waste of an outfit
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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