somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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