One girl and one boy is just not enough.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
