Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
