oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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