i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
