he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
