i will never coherently bang her
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize