North Korea, Best Korea!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
