would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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