need another drink. this is the easiest way
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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