Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
