This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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