Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize