i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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