I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
