You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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