sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize