I hope mine doesn't look like that
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
