I'm jealous of your bromance
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
