apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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