Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize