So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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