whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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