chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
