So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
