dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
