The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
