Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
