So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
