Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They took my balls.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
