people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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