remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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