I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
