No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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