I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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