I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
