So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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