he puts the penis in happiness.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
