My friends, they love my intelligence
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I see more hoeing in ur future
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