I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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