its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize