i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
