I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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