Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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