yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
