Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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