The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
