Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
