If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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