That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize