Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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