And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
