Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Pooping to opera.
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