but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
