Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
nutella sex= disaster
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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