I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize