We got so high we made milksteak
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
