At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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