Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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