This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
