whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
