it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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