Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
