I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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